Austin Sloan ‘Grumpy Bastard’ White Wooden Sign
Austin Sloan ‘Grumpy Bastard’ White Wooden Sign
The perfect gift for anyone you know who can be a bit of a grump, this cheeky decorative wooden sign is full of rustic charm and says it exactly how it is!
Handmade in the UK, this long sign is formed from a solid block of wood that has been painted white with black text. The rope on the reverse means that you can hang it from your wall or door with ease. Lacquered for longevity, this sign is perfect for indoor and outdoor use. The front of the sign reads;
Enter at own risk’
This cheeky yet charming sign can be hung anywhere and would make a wonderful gift! Whether it’s to celebrate a new home, birthdays or just as a decorative addition to your house, this sign is sure to make the recipient chuckle when they read it.
Established in 2006, Austin Sloan are very eco conscious and have created a range of charming, shabby-chic signs that will look gorgeous in your home, while still being as environmentally friendly as possible. The wood used is responsibly sourced pinewood from Scandinavia, from forests managed under FSC standards. All their signs are handmade in Great Britain from their Kent workshop and are lacquered for durability, making them great for use outdoors as well as indoors.
Warning – This item contains strong language.
|Colour||Black, Brown, White|
|Net Weight (g)||256|
|Special Features||Handmade in the UK|
Standard delivery within the UK is charged at a rate of £3.99. Guaranteed, signed-for Courier delivery is available for just £7.99.
|Delivery Class||Delivery Time||Delivery Charge||Orders over £59.99|
|Standard Delivery||2-5 working days
|Premium Delivery||1 - 3 days
|Courier Delivery||Order by 2pm for
Next working day
*PLEASE NOTE: Certain items are excluded from our Free UK Delivery offer. These items are clearly indicated within their product description and within the checkout process.
Many Personalised gifts are excluded from our Free UK Delivery offer and any limited time delivery offers as they are packaged and dispatched from a separate location. Orders containing some personalised items will incur an additional shipping fee equal to our standard delivery fee as they are despatched from a separate location. Personalised items may take longer than our standard delivery times, and Premium or Courier delivery may not be available. This information will be clearly indicated on the affected items.
£1.99 UK shipping on Carrie Elspeth
Orders containing only Carrie Elspeth jewellery qualify for optional £1.99 UK Delivery. These orders are sent using our Standard UK Delivery method. Please allow up to 5 days for delivery.
£1.99 UK shipping on Greeting Cards
Orders containing only greeting cards qualify for optional £1.99 UK Delivery. These orders are sent using our Standard UK Delivery method. Please allow up to 5 days for delivery.
For international delivery, shipping price varies with spend. Fast, signed-for courier delivery by FedEx is also available to all international destinations.
European delivery is split into two regions - European Union and Rest of Europe. Please see below for full details of country categorisation.
|Order Product Value|
|EU Tracked Airmail
(Inc Switzerland and Norway)
|Non-EU Tracked Airmail
(See below for exclusions)
(EU & Rest of Europe)
|Up to £24.99||£7.99||£14.99||£16.99||£22.99|
|£25-£49.99||Not Available||Not Available||£27.99|
|£100 - £199.99||Not Available||£34.99|
For delivery purposes, the European Union region includes the following 27 EU member states and Monaco:
Austria, Belgium, Bulgaria, Croatia, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Ireland, Italy, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malta, Monaco, Netherlands, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden
Albania, Andorra, Belarus, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Faroe Islands, Gibraltar, Greenland, Iceland, Liechtenstein, Macedonia, Moldova, Montenegro, Norway, San Marino, Serbia, Switzerland, Turkey, Vatican City Due to operational issues, we cannot send Tracked Airmail to the following European Countries:
Bosnia and Herzegovina, Macedonia, Montenegro
Our North America delivery region includes the United States of America and Canada
|Order Product Value||Tracked Airmail||FedEx Priority|
|up to £24.99||£9.99||£18.99|
|£25 - £49.99||Not Available||£20.99|
|£50 - £99.99||£23.99|
Rest of WorldOur rest of world delivery region includes the continents of Asia, South America, Australia/Oceania & Africa
|Order Product Value||Tracked Airmail
* Please see below for list of allowed countries
|up to £24.99||£14.99||£34.99|
|£25 - £49.99||Not Available||£39.99|
|£50 - £99.99||£44.99|
Aland Islands, Argentina, Australia, Barbados, Belize, Brazil, Cambodia, Cameroon, Canary Islands, Cayman Islands, Cook Islands, Ecuador, Georgia, Hong Kong, Israel, Japan, Jordan, Kazakhstan, Lebanon, Malaysia, New Zealand, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, South Korea, Taiwan, Thailand, Tonga, Trinidad & Tobago, Turkey, Uganda, United Arab Emirates, Vanuatu
Extremely rarely, in the event of unusually heavy or oversized orders going to overseas destinations, these shipping tariffs will prove insufficient to cover our costs. In which case we will contact you and request that you pay a postage surcharge to equal our specific shipping costs for your order.
Should you choose not to pay that surcharge we will refund your payment in full and cancel your order. Should we receive no reply to this request we will hold your order for seven days and then refund your payment in full and cancel your order.
Return & Refund Policy
If you would like to return an unwanted or damaged item back to us please inform our customer service team at firstname.lastname@example.org or 01494 790424 within 14 days of receiving the goods.
You will be asked to send the item back to us at the address below.
If the product has been damaged or received incorrectly you can give our customer service a call or email us to request a prepaid returns label to use. If however you have decided to return an item as it is unwanted please send this back to us at your expense, keeping a proof of postage.
Please ensure they are returned in perfect condition and packaged securely, because you will only be eligible for a refund once we have received the goods and confirmed they are in a re-saleable condition.
In order to process your return please include the following information:
- Your order number
- If you need a replacement or refund
- The reason for the return
- If the item is faulty please include exactly where the fault is on the item
All returns are processed within five working days of them being received and we will send you an email when we have processed your return and inform you of any refunds that have been processed. Please allow 1-5 working days for refunds to be processed back into your account. For full details please see our Return and Refund Policy
Returns of Personalised Gifts
Due to the personalised nature of these items, we are only able to accept returns or offer refunds if items are damaged or faulty.
For more information, please go to our Terms and Conditions page
Why Choose Us?
Retail Experience you can trust
We are a family-run business, trading since 1983 (online since 2000), serving over half a million customers last year alone. As a five-time winner of the prestigious award “Best UK Online Retailer”, we are passionate about creating a shopping experience that is fun, easy and hassle-free.
Top gifts from expert buyers
All our products are hand-picked by our award-winning team of expert buyers who between them have more than 100 years’ experience of sourcing and selecting fantastic, on-trend gifts from the best brands and suppliers not just in the UK but worldwide.
Fast & Efficient Distribution Centre
We know that you like to receive your goods as quickly as possible, so we always aim to despatch orders from our UK warehouse within 24 hours of receiving them. Each order is carefully and securely wrapped to make sure your purchase arrives without damage. If you need your order especially quickly, we also offer a Next Day UK delivery option.
Turn your purchase into a gift with our gift-wrapping service! All you need to do is tick "Gift Wrap" before adding a product to your cart and leave the rest to us! Our team is on hand to wrap any of your presents beautifully, whatever the occasion.
Excellent Customer Service
If you have any problems with your order, or simply want to inquire about a product before purchasing, simply give us a call or drop us an email. Our friendly Customer Service team will be happy to help with your queries. We pride ourselves on our "Excellent" five-star customer feedback, easily verifiable through over 7000 reviews!
Secure Payment Facilities
We have several fast, safe and secure ways for you to pay for your gifts. You can use a debit or credit card, PayPal or Amazon Payments, and always be certain that your transaction is completely secure.